Still Black And White

Tonogayato-tei-enn

2009-05-04T18:26:00.001-07:00

Here we are. Yesterday, in a small Japanese style garden located two minutes on foot from Kokubunji station, I found my little mama wearing small white vest. How come I've been so sweet and happy lately--

A Passage of Bird: A Dickinson Reading

2009-03-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

a pdf file; here

Sorry my blogger

2009-02-07T10:37:00.001-08:00

Recently I got a question:
Is this life set just to read books, and books, and books, and book book book...till I get back to mu-thing?

Recently I got an opinion:
When you send an email you should at least write "Subject". When I reply to an email without Subject it's as if I'm sending an email without a Subject.

Sorry blogger for so long days off.
Other things and to-dos unable to retrieve splotched like Micronesia on a big map

an entry from the wall of my room

2008-11-22T08:18:00.000-08:00

On the wall of my room...howwow...supposedly or not is my work. The idea had come and stayed and insisted on being realized. What it would be like If I painted by luminous paint?

This is how it came into light
You purchase a blacklight no less than 40 total watt along with a black-light-sensitive paint, it may cost some $50. Before that you'd better to buy white foundation paint if the wall of your room is bumpy or not white; a perfect white is required to gain an optimal effect, and I hardly see a flawless flat white wall. See your room. It may be white but it may not be white enough as you can paint white blacklight-sensitive paint directly without divulging underlying design before turning on blacklight. So in any case you are best to cost $60 at minimum. After that, just do paint, with of course the blacklight on and all the normal light shutting off. Wait a sec. Please do not forget the foundation paint, so turn on the light anyway...I painted this from the sketch below. Rarely a person can paint out of memory. The case was that I just could not find other pictures at hand. Anything will do. The paint actually shines in the dark, anyways, on the brush, so no worry you can. Yes you can. The sun is shining probably, but to us animals and humans just the white suffices. All true and would-be and would-have-been (me) painters know it by heart and hands. This wall picture is shining but has no significant value than that. Basically, it's same as ones painted by black and white; and color nine out of ten is better than monotone. BECAUSE, I don't know...you need a reason, black and white require less than by color. But if your judgment could be a bit beyond and trochaic, don't forget to prepare old newspapers in case of droppings, it's your room. Seventh, If you have no talent of painting (as is me indeed though), I recommend try write words: poems you like, proses you are supposed to like but don't or do like..., or you're not sure about it? or random entries from Being and Time, anything. But ese, if it be without justly depressed mind or with no substantial anger, rest assured it would appear veneer'r than mine.

See, why should you do that?
I don't see why I had to paint on the wall, and not on canvas.
>
>

so far so good

next time I'll take a better picture
of my wall

five and half books nobody seems to read but I read

2008-11-19T09:58:00.000-08:00

The idea is from here,
there, and everywhere.

So ten books? I don't have so many.
i.
This is for me the best Japanese picture book for children by Sasaki Maki. No one can read Japanese, so it seems in-category that the chances are who knows nobody's reading...indeed

The good point is that there's no plot besides...once a year hot chocolate sprouts out from the fissure of mountain rocks of a volcanic region, and people from the four corner of the world gather together for it.

"The Strange Tea Party" as the title says.

Here, gathering.

They invariably take on fancy vehicles to come and take chairs out here. Such as? Hmm...rather sweet those vehicles...ugh.

Other than that, nil. No plots, no lessons of moral, no spanking trashes from the authority side. I didn't attribute so much importance to this petite work in the past, and probably the thing is around the same that I'm assessing that way this day. But somehow this book's existence, "of no, totally of no importance"-ness--I cannot help notice--attracts me.

ii. The Poems of Emily Dickinson.
I know it's not suiting to the category--every one reads. Every one supposedly reads. But I know that, bluntly speaking, almost no one reads. At least...I think I can say...it's true. The background is my room. Needs to be tidied up in any case.

iii. Patric McGrath Asylum.
Again not in category. My excuse is that around here in Japan no one translates his works, and book stores in Japan is mostly nearly only Japanese books. Ya, mostly nearly only Japanese books indeed, and besides, a thirds of them is in many cases manga. "Could you please piss off mangas and GK Euro magazines from our national shelves? Can't you understand you JPN's publication industry is all together crazy?" The situation is, you go to one of the biggest book stores in Tokyo which deals with paperbacks, and hey there, the next capital step from Garcia...Marquez...yay, happens to be just a trash commercial writer. So if that's the way it is OK I can make a big trouble and go to the second biggest...to no avail. (Such things happen when you do not feel like to check out the creditability of your credit because of Garcia Marquez or William Treavor or John Cheaver or Primo Levi or Peter Matthiessen or ad infinitum that in effect means everybody who dares to constantly squeezes out from your ditchable purse and for the time being cannot have enough courage to make use of South American counterpart of Euphrates and Tigris...) Anyway, because of this my nationals who read McGrath may be a few hundreds or less. Serious.

A gorgeous work.

iv. Theodore W. Goossen The Oxford Book of Japanese Short Stories.
I didn't know Kawabata had a soul. The Izu Dancer in this rigorous collection opened my eye. Kawabata Yasunari no doubt had a harsh, unforgiving mind. The editor is quite a cognizant of Japanese writers--than I do of course. Goossen correctly chooses best ones from Yoshiyuki Junnosuke and Kojima Nobuo, without a single error (before an error the thing is that no other Japanese compilation includes Yoshiyuki...) Oe Kenzaburo's Prize Stock was also an unexpected eye opener. I have to say that I simply disliked his face and the way he spoke, from where the conclusion he may be typical [useless] Japanese writer...but fortunately it was not so.

At the left background of the picture slinkingly is done by my hands:->
Home grown. His close shot over there^^ Hope the html this time reflects the intention, though I have rather no intention...@
To return from digression:

v. Cindy Sherman The Complete Untitled Film Stills
I refer back to this picture book at times. A real gem. Made me pay forty something. You can "refer" to Sherman's pictures, just as well is to Jeff Wall. I have nothing to say. Again, no one seems to read this book. "I know that some of you do not understand." Pictures are a power that adults cannot handle yet is always half striving to be confident it's under control.

vi. Paul Wadden Days in the Ancient Capital

Truly nobody reads. Totally outlandish by fair color. It's not that "seems." Haiku in English. Interestingly, this 2/1.5 inches pocketable booklet really takes you to ancient times.

A disappearing snail,
I realize
the sea beyond

The Wadden's words accompanied with the drawings or vice verse...The scanned image on the top is from this tiny brochure.

Seen or unseen
White blossoms
of the plum

this train will never be going back

2008-11-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

You lucky jawbreaker once opposed to see the world upside down,
I'm concerned of you again.

According to Chomsky, when and only when this "discrete infinity" from where our fundamental mathematical concept of infinity of the number derives, acts with a conceptual system (which might not confined to us humans) this entirely new dimension arise.
Speaking of language in general, it might necessarily be so I think.
Egyptian pyramid might as well be one of such romantic ostentation of this human ability.

It was not about culture nor civilization but more likely was about or was bound to the nature of our language.
"We now are on a different station."

And long way to go.

So Young Wants A BIG Electric Car?

2008-11-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

If I was Neil Young I don't know what should I do?

I don't know about the detail, though, that bailout (attempt) of the big 3 was televised even in Japan on the national wave...with an ironical touch. For me, it's nothing but one of those politico disenchanting--nothing related to my life. I cannot buy cars regardless of their size nor efficiency. Or before that I doubt Neil Young's really writing this article. It can be NYII or somebody like that, can't be? That the pic of Young in LincVolt may be dummy...

About Cars
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

we know and we see that America can change

2008-11-10T04:07:00.000-08:00

-Obama

unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction--towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren.

Something of a singular importance in the world history happened last week. Many misunderstand that they actually know "their" anger. I've come across this article by chance. A letter from Alice Walker to Obama.

"Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and
pain."

Mr. Tomoyuki Yoshida, a Linguistics Professor Appeared in My Dream

2008-11-05T06:56:00.000-08:00

Mr. Tomoyuki Yoshida, a linguistics professor appeared in my dream.
He was making it explicit, that wherein the difference between Hot Tab hypothesis and Hot Dog hypothesis lies. I didn't know those two. According to him H-Tab was composed of four hot dogs.

we know and we see that America can change II

2008-09-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

My bicycle is resembling despair day by day.

Recent Reading

2008-09-30T10:20:00.001-07:00

is A Handbook for Teaching English at Japanese Colleges and Universities. The book is a compilation work done by a man named Paul Wadden; is various journals written on experiences of Teaching English at Japanese Colleges through which experiences teachers from the U.S., England, Australia etc discuss informative strategies they attained through classrooms. There are several specific difficulties in relation to English classes in Japan. Some are because of educational system itself, such as "less communication with students" thanks to one class per week curricula. Others, peculiar to Japanese psyche, that is; wall of silence and nationwide low standard in regard to writing, speaking, and listening in English.
You might say that the trouble peculiar to Japanese people (including me) in the international context may have deeper roots; cultural difference. I don't disagree. But we cannot improve our culture in the same way as a second language.

The English education in Japan begins with junior high school (twelve years olds') English text book. For me, the very first encounter with English was this useful expression:

This is a pen.

Somehow, I can still remember it clearly.
(Indeed, there will be no situation where you have to say "this is a pen" except presenting it to a blind person, or in some situation comedy). I feel like it was a real encounter. We the teacher and students chorus through

This is a pen.
This is a dog.
This is a lion.
A week.
(Probably that was at least in part because of the fact that there were just two or three classrooms per week).
And the next week thank God turns out to be like:

Are these bells?
Yes, these are bells.
So, after all, some problems are unique to Japan in teaching English. The writers, who's occupation are foreign teacher in colleges, introduce practical methods and teaching styles acquired through their own teaching. For one, a college professor introduces the A+ strategy. That the conversation with Japanese students (and citizens alike) at times falls into police interrogation-like "facts" questioning; asking facts; answering facts; asking facts; answering facts; and the talk does not go anywhere. Like yamanote-line. And they sometimes ask things like whether I like "nattou" (a traditional Japanese food) from out of nowhere, a writer says. It would be helpful for both them and us if there is some rule, that is; Answer Plus something. Some personal opinion regarding the reply or some-thing: "I'm from California where my father and grandfather lived in." A: "How nice, I'd like to go see Safeco field!" etc--not like "do you like lions?" anyway.

When Japanese students enter into colleges they have a level of vocabulary and grammatical knowledge. The problem is they (or I might say we) have little or no practice using English to communicate with others. Evey texts are first and for the last time translated into Japanese, and this enables English classrooms to fall into some sort of English laboratory; they are studying, not using. To break though this confidence or conference in their own cult, English language instructors are required to make use of best advisable devices which, hopefully offers a chance for students to become familiar with raw materials. This book discusses what kind of reading and listening materials are suited to Japanese students as well as its workable strategies in the field. And aside from reading and listening, English teachers have to deal with prevalent theme: the lack of spontaneity among Japanese students. The basic line recommended for new candidates, though, is not to go against students and admins and Japanese culture. To cultivate the class, and to found a hybrid (--Japanese and somewhere you belong) environment is made something of concern in a chapter of this compilation work. Culture, I think, is something like Maxims of Speech. You cannot change them. Again, a level of quietude maybe seems unique to a Westerner, and needs to be understood. It has a root in the Confucius based enculturation that calls for humility and harmony. Braking the Maxims I'm sorry but it's ten to four in the morning, at around halfway to the appendix an associate professor at Kyoto University discusses; it might be beneficial to let them write a short paragraph as a response, as a means to express an honest feeling on the spot.

And "that" was not disagreeable to me.

Dybek Links

2008-09-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

three in the morning after finishing homework
kicking back with a cup of coffee in my hand
coming around here to seek out a means to reorganize
my thoughts
I found whether it's suitable for the situation that the subject should be I or some other...

Here're voices of Stuart Dybek. One of the best guy in the world extant. I just want to post these links for myself, so I can go and listen at any time:

http://www.lib.msu.edu/vincent/writers/spring03/041803.htm A lecture
http://www.lions-online.org/podcasts/dybek.html "We didn't"
http://www.lannan.org/lf/rc/event/stuart-dybek/
http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=tR6ii2CGYZA"Pet Milk"

Written form interviews:
http://www.wooster.edu/ArtfulDodge/interviews/dybekhirsch.htm
http://chicagoist.com/2005/09/14/interview_stuart_dybek_author.php
http://www.imaginaryplanet.net/weblogs/idiotprogrammer/?p=83398309
http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/birnbaum_v/stuart_dybek.php
http://webdelsol.com/Other_Voices/DybekInt.htm

Human laziness is that if I download these to the harddrive, I'd forget about them.
night

timeline

2008-09-27T10:49:00.001-07:00

---------------
1989
I lost my salad.

---------------

Working for the Queen: A Reaction to Edwin R. McDaniel’s “Japanese Nonverbal Communication”: (I cannot correct the minor bug in the indentation)

2008-09-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

SUMMERY
As a clue to understand cultural motivation which is peculiar to Japanese society, McDaniel directs our attention to nonverbal interactions among Japanese people. Since every form of intercultural intercourses are taking place with a greater frequency in today’s world, individuals are asked to realize a level of awareness toward “cultural antecedents and motivations” which stipulate communicational conventions of each country. Employing a method established by M.E.Opler and J.K.Burgoon and J.L.Hale, McDaniel identifies and isolates “consistent themes” (1) such as Confucian-based collectivism, harmony, hierarchy, humility, and/or formality which he consider is conducive to thoroughly demonstrate what underlies Japanese relational communications. McDaniel introduces eleven propositions based on various past studies ranging from 1966 to 1998 (those tentative propositions deal respectively with “body language”, “eye contact”, “facial expression”, “space expectation”, and so on), through which several consistent cultural themes are directly rendered. In conclusion, McDaniel elaborates a couple of difficulties pertain to a wider application of his approach.

REACTION
In order to explore and appreciate the formation of value system of a particular culture, McDaniel’s affirmative propositions are by no means discrediting. He lends his hands to encourage straightforward understanding of behavioural codes unique to Japan. However, his thematic study often skips essential information which, quite unreasonably are not likely to be fully appreciated by those who have no experience of visiting Japan or other East Asian countries. In other words, McDaniel’s propositional approach has a given number of imperfections that are resulted from his well-qualified design itself, which potentially provide openings for long been established inter-cultural misunderstandings and miscommunications.
For example, under proposition No.10 McDaniel explains; Instances of “ma” (silence) in Japanese discourse can impart a variety of messages, with the context supplying the actual meaning. He attributes this aspect of nonverbal interaction in part to “a general mistrust of spoken words.” (McDaniel 9) The argument should be more prim and neat provided that he is not addressing exclusively ones who are living in Japan. Since any other given cultures may collectively or not have some of “a general mistrust of spoken words”, representation of specific instances is needed; in this case, he could either give example or provide felt reliability of the source should one accept the above attribution.
For one, language teachers from foreign countries (especially from the “West”) often face uncomfortable silence or hardly determinable vocalics—one such interpretable into “um, uh…mmm…” It takes just two steps for an English Language Program in Japan to fall into the characteristic silence. 1) He or she begins the class with “hello, how are you?” The reply comes as a group. Scarcely the class begins to speak up how the last weekend was like. 2) The instructor asks whether they had finished assignments. ”Um, uh…mmm…” It is not unimaginable that a foreigner who is going to pay a first-time visit to Japan may well be unable to discern that this exactly is where [the] Japanese [students] are “drawing on” the “situational context”, and the protracted silence means that they/we are trying to “empathetically determine the needs of another person” (McDaniel 9). This type of wall of silence is rarely due to “a general mistrust of spoken words.”
McDaniel’s dynamic affirmations provide us with an entrance—through his succinct identification of themes—for a subtler appreciation of our own culture and positive alternate perspective for favorite view of shyness and lack of spontaneity among Japanese people. In comparison to the entire quality of his study, potency of the over-implications could possibly be ignoble. Still defects would only be construable to “defects” and unpardonable in the academic enclave; prerogative of the academy may lie in the process of the inquiry and its legitimacy, and not such that defendable without explication and sufficient communication of that process. Any scholar ought not take charge of this kind of hasty misconception. To strike a fair balanced intercourse, we must press forward with our investigation into the “difference” and its validity.

NOTES
1. ”over-implications”: e.g. under Proposition No.3 McDaniel asserts; “A smile can indicate happiness or serve as a friendly acknowledgment.” “Alternatively, it may be worn to mask negative emotions, especially displeasure, anger, or grief.” Rather, I am angry about this because it is completely inaccurate. In my understanding, the smile could have meant “helplessness” or “dismay” or just because of “embarrassment” that is worn to avoid discord, and it is by no means “anger” nor “grief”. Such a usage does not exist in Japan.
2. Again, some more minor moderations would be desirable in order that keep away with potential inter-cultural preconceptions. E.g. under the “olfactices” we can see the following lines: “Although there is no supporting evidence, the near ritual tradition of frequent baths and the desire to refrain from personal offense corroborates this contention.” (JNC: A Review and Critique of Literature p.18) The “the” may have a less necessity today.
3. It can be inferred from his Conclusion that McDaniel may readily admit that weakness and strength of his work reside in the same place—that is, because of his assertive [propositional] style, wherein a possibility, I think, lie for a society or culture to become more open. The design like it or not assumes complementary role with the naiveté of Japanese psyche.

WORK CITED

Edwin R. McDaniel Japanese Nonverbal Communication: A Reflection of Cultural Themes. 2006 Thomson Learning.

Days in the Ancient Capital

2008-09-22T02:12:00.000-07:00

At 2:00 p.m.
Amherst.

I cannot remember whether its pronunciation was
Ámherst or Amĥerst.

It was something like [æımэst]

on the Moleskin
is my St. Chibi
downloaded and printed out without permission

for talisman.
I glued him with an instant adhesive
so you can see the droppings

fine

2008-09-21T11:15:00.001-07:00

"Race is a central test of our belief that we're our brother's keeper, our sister's keeper...There's a sense that if we are to get beyond our racial divides, that it should be neat and pretty, whereas part of my argument was that it's going to be hard and messy--and that's where faith comes in"
---Barack Obama Newsweek Jul. 21

I got used to be alone

from the day when I entered in the elementary school, my mother was working outside
I used to go back home with a key
my elder brother and sister were usually not in the home
hanging around somewhere...with their friends or still in the class
my mom used to come back home at around six thirty.

I used to spend my time in the traditional Japanese closet
where the mattress (futon) was stowed
staring wave line of the wood panel
an hour, two hours, or three hours sometimes

(which means I least like the recent version of Dorae-mon
it seems to me a kind of byproduct of Educational Affairs Group
I don't like educational system as a whole...
who on earth likes it then...??) (Anyway)

my father came back or used to visit home only on Saturdays to spend one night
the table would become oppressively silent when he was home
nobody spoke during supper, even words like "pleas pass that on to me"sounded as if a significant statement has just made. that was
every Saturday

I understand what was going on around me
my father was living in another place with another woman
I knew that even at that time that he's not living with our family
what else

My father is probably a kind of psychiatrist who's half dis-ease himself
...on his recuperation hopefully...
rumor has it he has a son, twenty years old or so
the source is my brother...
it is not unfeasible my cousin is now in the same university...though I don't care about

My identified cousin found a way to a psychiatric ward from out of the blue
that was last month
me...?
don't wanna know about the detail.

I'm not in a bad shape with my father today
we meet twice a year or so and talk something with each other
I like him.
but just that.

I didn't make a single friend during elementary school years
while I was in the third grade in the school I began making friends at last
but meantime my parents got divorced in the end
of four years of hopeless battle (maybe my mom had to talk something with him about Money
but it was long) (strangely, though, I think I am the one who appreciate their sanguinary waste in some way)
and we moved on to another district

the outlook seems bleak
but like flowers or vegetables or weeds or something like that we can manage ourselves
because we are preprogrammed to do so.

If I failed, these cold facts
would stand before me again

I worked a little bit
fifteen pieces of part-times (circa)
the longest, a year and half
shortest, you can imagine

mostly I read books
two sets of World Literature
whole through, from the Homer to Somebody I cannot remember
and Kant and Showpenhoawar (cannot spell)
and what the hell, Holy Bible for just for the sake of argument.
in Japanese

So...what you've learned?
"honor is for women and virtue is for men."
"and if you want to be stupid, you just need to address a woman about virtue."
's Kant.
"she cannot select herself...but she just can be selected."
what else. that's wholesale true.

Therefore, he had to say;
"Men who deserve to be hanged considerably outnumber women who deserve to be exiled to an island."
in seventeen seventy something.

All things considered, though, what I've learned is what I had had already known
I just found out things I already knew.
So, what for? Why do you read?
Can those Read books be like savings for bank account?

"and darkness was upon the face of the deep"

I like Melville ("Piear"..."Pierl", or..."Pierr"is his best work.)
and Dickinson (at least I can spell).
and Thomas Mann was my Mann of course
Some might have to be kind enough to tell me that my liking is non of anyone's bloody business
uh...what else...

I loved a woman
150 cm (I am not used to foot and inch) tall.
round faced (round faced Mignon. I miss her from time to time)
and what's more... she loved me...
what else

I don't know what happened to her for
we lived in an apartment for
maybe five years

ended
this is me.

Consequently,
I'm off to save my life

==

A Casual Complaint: Lazy and Guilty

2008-09-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

Since I now am a university student and sitting ELP classes (in Japan), I suppose it ain't an unexpected bahabiour when I start using this place to introduce and try get rid of unclear feeling toward what I'm (quite belatedly though) doing in the daytime

This sentence...
A bad example.
I have an ambivalent feeling toward English Language Program in my university which, I understand is the only ELP extant in Japan. Who cares? Dunno.

Not worthy of reading these bellow. I cannot delete just I got an attachmen'

I
The last article is written by Pat Shipman (from The Evolution of Racism: Human Differences and the Use and Abuse of Science), and it closes like this:

We are collectively responsible for the appalling conditions under which so many live, for the opportunities not offered, for the chances not received, for the training never made available. These disasters are our fault, which we must acknowledge and redress. But we are also deeply and individually responsible for our own failures of potential: for the practice skipped, for the basic facts or skills not memorized and reinforced, for the opportunities that were too much hard work to seize, for the moral laziness that makes us lower our standards for ourselves to the point of failure.

I don't know how to say. I like the article itself. It's a quality work, and highly investigative for all of us. Shipman quite quite quite vigorously investigate past study of his own field which, in the end, engendered pure Racism, namely Nazis. I now am entitled to see what happened around that time more clearly because of him. What I wanted to say is...I don't know. The next that follows the above sentences is:

"We all know a gifted student who can't be bothered to do homework, it is a bitter waste. The hope is that we have also all seen the student of modest ability who excels through hard work. It is a lesson we must take to heart."

I don't know how to say. I'm not going to say this is suggestive and this is not good. But for one thing, "bitter waste" doesn't necessarily mean low grades. It is everywhere. Logically speaking, it might potentially be in every heartfelt laughters.

And another is moral laziness or the failures of potential.
I'm sided by two walls here which look so inescapable.
I'd like to admit that I'm a lazy person, because it is not very far from the truth.
And I need laughters from time to time.

The classroom I'm now in is the last one for me, and it is turning out to be good. I found out things that I didn't and couldn't notice by myself which were vaguely there in my mind. That is that, my vocabulary is not enough. But what's more important to me is that I'm knowing that I now am trying to be myself in a valid way. Buuut yes, the closing sentence. Shouldn't someone say "take it easy," or "why should we discuss about perception of self in the first place? And that, whole through three months. Is that something we can do with a certain nonchalance?":

"As a species, we must examine ourselves and accept responsibility for our behavior, as dose the growing child, or face the awful prospect of never reaching any sort of maturity."

I couldn't say more...

>
>
>Damn. I want to discuss something about Albert Giacometti...
>or somebody instead of...
>

Bridge in Y-City

2008-09-17T07:59:00.002-07:00

The scheme is that I make a comprehensive catalog of Matumoto Shunsuke. But I wouldn't. Tags for example is saying "scooters, vacation, fall." And would I be better to add some sensible ones? No

2008-09-17T07:59:00.001-07:00

Four is the number of death.
Brown is the color of sadness.
I exam.

M is something ominous.
Why I guess so,
Nebulous is still,

Loyal is the purple.
"tired and gone"
Five is the perfect,
but not enough

In Memoriam

2008-08-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

He is laughing, with a touch of anger in his laughter, but no triumph, no malignity.
--George Orwell, speaking of Dickens

"Try write some on the Poetess, Emily Dickinson", I think I promised it with you Dana.
I just want to specify how I encountered her works. Though sometimes in some ways I know I exaggerate things, I'll try my best.
Well to cut the chase, I was reading a book and the book contained a epigraph by Dickinson:

The Brain--is wider than the Sky--
For--put them side by side--
The one the other will contain
With ease--and You--beside--

The Brain is deeper than the sea--
For--hold them--Blue to Blue--
The one the other will absorb--
As Sponges--Buckets--do--

The Brain is just the weight of God--
For --Heft them--Pond for Pond--
And they will differ--if they do--
As Syllable from Sound--

It was my religious or sacrilegious years that I, with her verses in my back pack, went to a local library everyday, took a chair at one quiet corner, dictionary beside and till the evening comes I stayed with her.
There, I was angry; among elders reading travel brochures; among children with their head absorbed in the comic books; and young students saddled with sacrificial endless studies which in any event would take them to the course unwillingly or willingly identical with their parents'. That the realization someone is living one's life for oneself for ever, and elsewhere on the earth while some other is and was living for all the time was fatal.

I could have shorten their life, if there wasn't law.
They were and are good person, just next to you
for all the time, and that sometimes makes me mammy mad.
But I'll delete these lines, I haven't been meaning to say this kinda age-old jabberwocky.

That the epigraph was, along with the book, one of the most beautiful I've ever seen has had made me cost $147, and which was and is the most expensive buy on my shelves. I needed it; Thomas H. Johnson Harvard Press version, probably to make myself more convinced (on something I don't know) or more decisive. Dunno. No artist ever lived without words in the end, and without books. That's that. I'm just an ordinal reader, willing to change the world but can't, thinking that he's one of those who believes in words but...not so sure.

I'm sorry Dana, I'm not responding to our promise.
Next round sitting, would come by, I hope I can do.

It's Not Coming Around Too Soon

2008-06-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

"If you read between the line you know that I am just trying to understand"
--Johnny Cash IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND.

Hope this post is not mine, but just a late depository of our decorum.
Soliloquies against nothing. The thing is, there were pen and paper at hand.